Taylor Swift appears to embrace her country bumpkin roots by tubing down a river while completely naked.
After recently being dumped by her limey child boyfriend (One Direction’s Harry Styles), Taylor is in desperate need of a new guy to have a horrible relationship with, so that she can write more pathetic whiny songs for her next album.
Since 80% of the world’s population lives near water it makes sense for Taylor Swift to prostitute her naked body while tubing until she finds a man desperate enough to put up with her crazy shit. One can only hope that parasites, piranhas, or a waterfall stops Taylor before this happens.